My ol' ol' Blog... FOUND!

But not by me.

It was SO weird... I had an hour's break after Chem yesterday and decided to go check my Yahoo! mail, which I seldom opened. And there was this e-mail from Blogger, telling me to follow a particular link and change my password to a blog I supposedly had.

And I was like, "What the..." O_o

I didn't have a Blogger account with THIS e-mail address. So I follow the link, change the password and stumble upon one of my earliest blogs. How's THAT for the biggest surprise ever! haha It must mean nothing to a few ppl, but this blog was sooo old that I had to get a template for it because the template it was on was outdated or something. You know, those earlier blogger templates with a huge BLOGGER banner on top. It sucks I won't be able to show it to you guys how it originally looked 'cuz I changed it. Its called A Dark Coffee Brew (with a REALLY weird description and a weirder entry that made me wonder wtf I had in mind).

Its hilarious. I don't even remember having one back in 2002! I actually sat back to think of those days, what I had planned to blog, but never gotten past ONE post. Heh. That makes that blog my first blog. Wow... it seems like only yesterday... I must have been 13 or 14 then. Damn, that was young.

Looks like I haven't changed one bit over the past 6 years. Still the blogger at heart, eh?

Anyway, heh. Tiny things delight me and this post was quite unnecessary, but hell! I just dug up my oldest blog! Now I should get back to programming oreven better... HEAD HOME! Heh.


quick update - i've come to realize that me shareth a love-hate relationship w/ c++ programming. i just got offered my first on-campus job! haha i would have been last quarter too if i'd tried half as much as i did this time round... hm, and parties are a waste of time. AND stoopid. i've learnt that working 24/7 keeps my mind off you know... shtuff. like dope. booze. moms. co[k]e. 20-yr-old professors.
O_O Have a good week y'all.

song to ease my bubble sorted brain: Fields of Gold - Sting

My Volvo and Me

Thats right. You're about to know more about my baby. My Volvo. My car. My ol', used Volvo. With weathered out brakes. Only the speakers on my side function properly (and I like it thata way). But I still love it. With its smell. With the way it doesn't accelerate suddenly, which always gives me a start. It has a sweet seat warming thing. Its spacious and being my first car, I couldn't love it more than I already do. The best part was that we didn't really buy buy it. Back in October, a friend told us about giving his car back to the company. For NOTHING! I'd just turned 18 and dad was wary about me driving his car around. I think that's pretty common with most men. Their car is theirs and NO ONE but them can drive it. If you do, be prepared to watch 'em grumble and tell you to do something THIS way not THAT way. So I jumped at the opportunity and wondered if I could borrow (OWN! mwuaha!) his car.

"Hey, sure! I never thought if that. It'll save me all the paperwork too."

WOOT!

And thereon, started my romance with my baby :) Sorta. You see, I have a temporary license. That means I can sure as hell drive around, but with someone who has a permanent license next to me. No big deal. Dad got busy with his work and I latched onto mom to sit next to me while I drive around.

I love it. The drive gives me a break from everything - college, coarsework, household chores. It helps me unwind and relax for a bit. It IS very important to me 'cuz it makes me feel responsible (not like the older sibling 'responsible') and well, feel like its a stepping stone to the life I want. Weird huh. Today I gave my car (ah, that sounds so good hehe) a wash and then mom and me headed out to drive around the city. Now the funny part is, my dad doesn't know we drive out of our local community. He doesn't want me to go out there without him taking me there first. Yeah... but as if I could wait! I took my mom "out into da world" a couple of months back and revelled in our tiny secret. It isn't tiny, because one screw-up can get my temp license cancelled AND the possibility of getting a permanent one, real bleak.

It had been quite a while since I'd driven . Maybe a month or so because over the winter break we had road-tripped to Florida (and there were enough permanent licensed-drivers *sigh* to take us there) and the day after we came back, I was running between classes.

My mom was doubtful about taking me out but somehow I convinced her that I was confident. Truthfully... I wasn't. And my mom's continuous, "There's a STOP sign coming up", "You're going too fast! The speed limit's only 35 here", "STICK to YOUR side", "Turn left.... TURN TURN, hurry!" weren't helping haha. And it bugged her when I laughed whenever she said something like that. I knew a STOP sign was coming up. I knew I was over the speed limit by a couple of mph. I knew how to make the turn, 'cuz I was the one in the driver's seat, right? In the end she realized I wasn't breaking any rules and driving quite carefully. I like it that way. When my mom relaxes next to me and in a way trusts me with the driving. Its a completely different case with my dad. He doesn't stop telling me what to do, and if I smile at it (and God help me if I laugh), he thinks I've probably lost it and tells me to CONCENTRATE ON THE FUCKING ROAD lol. No music. Nothing. Now... if there's no music playing, I start getting jittery. Anxious. And start losing focus. Instead of relaxing, its the opposite. Funny how that works. It is pretty sad that unlike my mom, he doesn't compliment me, even if I drive well (and don't crash into a fire hydrant). I like sincere compliments. Who doesn't? He doesn't take me to drive in the first place (its the "we'll go tomorrow" or "next weekend" scenario) and when he DOES, not a word. No, "That was a good turn", "Good driving today" or even a, "You're getting better". Men of a few words...

Oh well.

He might take me tomorrow onto the road for the first time *grins* and I'm hoping he realizes I'm good enough to give the driving test. High time I did!

Song of the night: I Can't Tell You Why - Eagles

Jazz Me

iabsolutelyLOVEjazzdance! so much in fact, i want my next blog entry to say "iabsolutelyLOVEjazzdancing!" hehe though i'm not a big fan of jazz music, the very dance... the form... the flexibility, the expression, the mobility and flow is what fascinates me. it has a sophistication in its vigor. (that sounded so good, dinnit?) i really don't know how i developed an interest for it, but it must be the 'dance genes' in me that must be spurring to life O.o you get the picture. with a few classes offered at our new Rec Center on campus, who knows... i might be the next jazz star hitting all shows in noo york. lol or maybe not. its just one of those personal passions that few ppl know abt, but the entire blogosphere just happens to figure out somehow.

hmm, i think the proper word to describe the dance would be energy. its filled with energy. with life. its even more fun if you do it together in groups (and most likely end up laughing at yerself).

plus, the attitude is what counts in this dance form. so, you got some of dat?

Pictures courtesy : Harris Theatre, Metro Arts, London Dance, 56Dance, Nat Horne, BroyHillCenter, Dance Network

"Who AM I??"

Thats a pretty deep question. And for those who know me... I avoid such questions. But there have been moments when people have told me about this dilemma of theirs.

"Who am I?"
"What IS my religion? My dad follows this... my mom practices that..."
"Is there something wrong with being an atheist?"
"What do my parents want me to follow?"
"What do I want to follow?"
"How do I see what is right for me?"
"When do I see the *light*?"
"I've never been an overly spiritual person. Is it too late to start being one?"

And the questions go on and on. I couldn't answer those Q's (I never will)... but today morning, when I woke up, I couldn't help laughing at what I saw.

Last night, after a long day of Chem, I decided to read one of Vonnegut's books. Instead, I found this book - Light For My Path: Illuminating Selections from the Bible - which I had bought last year when I was going around the bookstore grabbing like a maniac at books on Christianity and Buddhism. Don't ask...

I'd read the Bible in the 7th or 8th grade, when I was in a catholic school for a couple of years. So I started reading the excerpts and it was like vising the old days of sitting in the Chapel and staring at the Cross for hours. So anyway, this morning I woke up, had a quick shower and when I came back to my room, I saw the Bhagavat Gita (thats the Holy book for the Hindus) kept ontop of the Light For My Path.

That's when I laughed. I actually laughed! My first assumption was, "Aw jeez... either mom or dad want me to read the Gita instead of the Bible." (one of those silent parent commands) I went out and casually asked who had placed the book on my table. Turned out to be my dad O_o Though his intentions were good. When I asked him why, he said something like, "Well, I wanted you to read both the books and see the similarities between the two."

No idea, but that made me feel grateful. Really really grateful.

Probably because I was dreading I would hear, "You should be reading this instead of that." Really, what greater fear than your parents (indirectly) wanting you to follow a particular religion. We've all seen it in documetaries and read it in books. It IS a terrible feeling.

I guess I'm neither here or there. And its better that way. I get to pick the things that ring true to me and fit 'em into my life. Not being a very religious person, being told to be who I want to be and having the liberty to choose to do what I want when it came to such matters... is indeed a blessing.



Picture courtesy : La confusion de l'arbre

Manhattan

Yes, Manhattan...
Have you ever seen anything like it?
ANYthing like the Brooklyn Bridge?

Ever considered getting an apartment with a window opening towards it?
Roaming on a lazy Saturday afternoon through Chinatown...

Yeah... I can see myself crossing that street...
Right there... in a few years...

Drinking to Get Drunk

That apparently is the new trend at college. Everyone does it - from first year students to fifth year seniors (at least the latter are officially allowed).

Its like you drink just because your friends are, 'cuz you want to go with the crowd, or wish want to taste it (just once? twice?) or (this one's a classic) its a part of "college experience".

Yeah right.

Like any other sober kid on campus, I'm not against drinking or booze in general. Its the number of bottles that go down that is scary. I agree drinking is a social thing, that people do it in clubs, bars, at home when they're with someone or just kicking back after a long day at work. I myself did it a couple of times, but it was at home where I could make sure I didn't get carried away and be cautious of the way I behaved. It was with friends, we all had fun, watched TV, played games, talked and didn't "lose it". Few might consider it "boring" or "whats the big deal anyway. Home or bar, you're still with friends and having a good time". Sure, but you're not drinking responsibly. If you can differentiate between that, great!

I used to always tell (or rather challenge) my parents that it was better to drink a few glasses of whatever they were having with them, rather than me going out and them finding me passed out on the couch in the morn. They didn't object, even though I was 16 then. Plus, I made it a point not to take advantage of their trust and have more than a few sips. It just made me giddy thinking I was "growing up" and was "one of the adults". At 18, my half glass has remained the same but I can now taste a larger variety. Parents should themselves introduce their children to such things, instead of the teens going out in the world and drinking on their own. And there are so many types of drinks... its amazing. Wine-tasting is my favorite. We have one every month at our university (though I haven't gone to one...yet) for a few bucks. So you see? THATS developing a taste. Guzzling down booze for over an hour isn't fun. Or is it? If you think it is... well, I really don't know what to say. I could go on and on about the horrendous things such heavy drinking does to one's liver, immune system and your senses, but I guess you've probably heard it all. And by heavy drinking I don't exclude binge drinking, like drinking once a week (but again, drinking to get drunk).

Keep it simple. Keep a limit. So that you don't end up doing something, saying something that you wouldn't under normal circumstances. When drunk, you're hardly in your senses. Its almost like anyone can get you to do or say something that you don't want to. But you do... because you feel "above all the shyness and conflicting emotions" (which is NOT good and trust me, it makes one look like a careless person and someone not in control). So why allow it? Why place yourself in such a position? Where people can take advantage of your state or simply put, manage YOUR life for a few minutes! Sounds revolting, doesn't it? It does to me. No sane person would want anyone else taking over their mind/actions/words even for a second.

A person can have fun. And still drink with friends or alone. And chill out. And not get wasted. Ask yourself, is there any part of getting drunk that is "fun"? Or relaxing? And then go for that fifth beer can.

There's this guy...

Of course there's always a guy. There are always guys.

But this one's so... soo, whats the word... different. I mean, today was one of those instances when it really hit me hard and made me go "wow".

Wow. Thats the only word I can come up with. And it wouldn't have so bad if he hadn't looked twice at me. TWICE! And not twice like two glances in two seconds, but once when he entered and one when he just passed by me. I almost waved (and thought of smiling) but ended up just digging into my backpack to stuff an empty Starbucks bottle and pretending I hadn't noticed (or rather telling myself I was over-imagining). An empty bottle even. Imagine that.

So lets back up on this for a bit. I first saw him at a Study Abroad seminar during my orientation for university, which was way back in August of last year. He was sitting to my right somewhere but I didn't really give a damn (or any guy as a matter of fact) because of a recent heartbreak, if thats what you would call it. I did. A little. But didn't bother. What were the chances of me ending up with another guy who was a jerk like any other guy?

And even now, I admit I don't know him. He might be the jerk I fear. A drinker, smoker, pimp, or on whatever drug the world has to offer to college kids. And even worse, have a girlfriend. But I guess I let myself savor the moment a bit too much heh... so much that I'm telling you about it. Everytime I see him around campus (2 times so far? Or maybe 3? A'ight I'm not that pathetic to keep a count lol), I think...

Coincidence.

There's a helluva lot of coincidences in my life. Happens with everyone I guess, but maybe a bit more with me. Or I just end up noticing a whole lot (which isn't such a good thing). I can figure out what a person's about to say. I've been told I read people's minds and thoughts, the hidden meanings behind what they say (or what they don't say). I've also been told that I can predict events and change it (if I really really want it to turn out some way). Yeah right. Its bs if you ask me. But sometimes you just stop in your tracks and give something a second thought. "Maybe..."

I've considered a lot of things based on my instincts, and they never turned out the way I wanted them to. So what makes this one any different? I DON'T KNOW! I walk and his stare flashes across my mind. I close my eyes and I can't help to think how he would look if he smiled back at me. If of course... I smiled first. Which I know I won't be able to do. I'd smile, flirt and pass a few passing lines at any other guy, but that just means I'm not even remotely interested in him (and God help him if he doesn't figure that out by the end of the day). Weird how I clam up when I'm actually interested, huh.

Ah, the world's a fantasy for us romantics. Our life's on a cloud. Everything looks so perfect from up there. I don't even know his name. His major. I don't even know any other mood of his other than that one stare! Could it get worse? Yes... I know I won't do anything about it. Well, I dunno. Maybe just 'cuz I can't at this point in time and... year. Maybe not for another 5 years or so

O_o

And what are the chances of me seeing him again. Nada. Over a period of 5 months I've seen him 2 or 3 times. I hardly go to that side of the campus until and unless I feel like spending money on the food there, or go see William Pope.L's Under All, Above Most Underwear collection (in the picture).




Like I said, it must be a passing thing. I sure hope so :\

Top 10 Reasons why 4-hour labs suck...

1. Because they're 4 frigging hours.
2. They're a waste of time (pretty obvious because I'm blogging right now instead of programming)
3. You're supposed to do the programs AT HOME and then show them to your TA here.
4. The new TA's slow... 15 minutes for one guy. I mean c'mon... check the COMPLETED programs and then get down to the ppl who're stuck.
5. 4 hours...
6. I can just go home and do other important stuff...
7. UGH!
8. I wanna go hoooooooome!! And study physics (just because I have a quiz coming up...heh)
9. 4 HOURS... I was done in 15 minutes (like most ppl already have here - and I could just shoot the guy who just walked out the door aftr showing his work - sucks when you come late and have to sit at the back... somehow all the ones who're done are sitting with me lol)
10. I'm blogging... and waiting... for my f'ing turn... how does that sound for a wonderful, cool rainy day outside?

Doing My Good Deed

Not really... I got turned down :(

The Hoxworth Blood Drive campaign was at our university and for the second time this time round, I decided to volunteer (at the snack counter or the check-in desk) and meet people. And get my community hours for a scholarship.

I've seen others donating blood earlier but always left the room feeling quesy, with big dots flashing before my eyes. The worst time was this one time when I accompanied my dad to donate blood a few years back. I tried standing next to him and watch the entire thing being done... but lost nerve and had to be literally escorted to sit outside in the sun.

Ugh, I hate the weakness, whatever it is.

So to get over it, I decided to donate blood. I was psyched. I had goosebumps the night before and broke into a cold sweat a lecture class before I had the appointment. By the time I stepped into the Great Hall, I was surprisingly cool and composed. I guess I was up for it! I couldn't believe I was actually doing it!

Question17: Did you make any travels outside the US within the last three years? If yes, please specify where and when.

Yeah, that question blew it. I'd been to India and was told I couldn't donate blood for 3 years. Its been a year and a half since, so I'll have to wait for another year. It was frustrating. Very VERY frustrating. I couldn't f'ing believe it. 1 more year! I bet I'll lose my nerve by the end of it. And who knows what happens next year...

But anyway, it was the thought that counts I guess. The results may not be that obvious when you donate blood, but it is to someone who's in dire need of it. And it could be anyone.

Its a noble cause and I encourage everyone to do their part. One way or the other, it effects the lives of millions.

Slacker lacker acker ...

Yep, thats me. (I know)The last two entries were pointless and were just posted to take up space heh. Make that the last 3 entries. I've haven't been all that busy like I'd WANT myself to be... but there's really nothing to blog about.

O wait! There IS something blog about. I got tagged by Miles earlier to regularly (and I mean every-single-day-type regular) post an entry on my MSN space for a week. That was sorta fun, though I lost yesterday when I didn't get the time (FINALLY I WAS BUSY ONE SATURDAY! YAY!). Maybe I'll just summarize on the week's events then. Summarize. Did I just type that? Yeah right... lol anyway here goes.

Monday and Tuesday were boring. I got a few quiz grades back (and this was only the second week, eeesh) and they all sucked so they're not even worth mentioning. Did I ever tell you I LOVE Eminem? For really vague reasons I s'pose. He's funneh... speaking of funny, my new name's Sleezy Wafflebutt. Don't even ask... Sharan sent a f'ing cute forward and it generated that name for me :) Pretty neat huh? People think its very fitting heh. Thursday was three words - lazy, lazy, lazy. I tried to take an anfternoon nap (as if that eva works out) but gave up and ended up shooting random comments in the mom-sister serious talk about Jolie and Pitt. I personally adore... no, am obsessed about Jolie. She deserves better than that .... that guy, ugh. My sis thinks otherwise, but of course she's a huge fan of those all-American male celebs (brownie points if he's blonde) who are just pitiful *makes a face* aka Pitt. He and Aniston looked perfect in their bubble. No one else looks good with them. But thats just me. (Jolie rulez!) I was dead beat on Friday and was looking forward to the three-day weekend, but had to go for a party at Gizzardbutt's place. Fun times. Saturday and today was the return to books. Not course books... anything but those. I finally got some chem and programming done today. Gave up on chem like always heh. Did a tiny pretest for physics. Completed that just because it was frigging easy and is not graded, so you can just choose any option out of the 5.

This was another waste of space on the blogosphere... damn. I'll come up with something good I promise. Soon.

*hums Hello procastination my old friend, I've come to talk with you again...*

WHO DEY!

Who Dey, Who Dey, Who Dey think gonna beat them Bengals !

Who Dey, Who Dey, Who Dey think gonna beat them Bengals !

Who Dey, Who Dey, Who Dey think gonna beat them Bengals !

Noooooobodyyyyy !

[Though I'm not a huuuuuge fan of Ameri football... the enthusiasm and cheer in the air over the game of Bengals versus Steelers (Pittsburgh) IS amazing. How can one NOT be a part of it?]

Happy 3rd January !

~May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist, your doctor, your plumber, and the IRS.
~May you find a way to travel from anywhere to anywhere during rush hour in less than an hour, and when you get there may you find a parking space.
~May you wake up on January 1 finding that the world has not come to an end, the lights work, the water faucets flow, and the sky has not fallen.
~May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what others see in you delight them.

QUICK update:
My break was THE bestest break eva! We, i.e. my family and a couple of other families, road-tripped to Florida. We must have got lost atleast a hundred times (don't EVER trust MapQuest, jeez), but thats what made it so much fun. We changed course overnight and spent an evening at Daytona Beach. The next 3 days were at Disney World, Orlando. So basically, we were on the road for 4 days and AT Florida for 3 days hehe. I ain't complaining. I love roadtrips. And even more so, I would have loved driving down there, but I guess we had too many drivers already. We returned just a couple of hours before the clock struck twelve on the 31st and ended up gatecrashing a friend's place. Came home around 3 in the morn and I couldn't help but curse my uni for starting on the 2nd. Buuuuut... I LOVE someone *winks* for telling me otherwise. College started on the 3rd! YAY! So here I am, enjoying the last few hours of winter break :)

Happy new year y'all!