Monday, August 22, 2005

Internet Part 2 : Addiction

Frankly speaking, the entire "ok-no-more-internet-for-a-few-days" scene I had going didn't quite go off so well... frm my apparent recent posts (wow, nearly every single day). Also, staying away frm the yahoo!, msn messengers definitely didn't work out. I eventually found out (and not accidentally either) that msn has a web browser, and one can open up their messenger wherever there was an internet connection (and wherever I went..there WAS a computer/laptop.. looking at me in the face, almost treacherously inviting, dammit). I did turn away and tried to focus my attention on kids/babysitting/movies/swimming (as if..). And like on record, it didn't WORK ! I always found time to sit alone and think. Think of things I shouldn't be thinking, or even better, don't like to think about (sounds better heh). For instance, fretting unnecessarily over things you have no control over. It's futile, but you know how paranoid ppl are. They just can't stop thinking... thinking... about the "what-if"s. Oh yeah, the "what-if" is a fav of mine. Makes you feel depressed and further in a shyt-hole. Hm.. that just sounded bad. Okay, I'm gonna give it another shot. One last shot. If this doesn't work (the 'staying' away).. blah with it. Everything happens for a reason (the reason better be good), or I like to think of it thata way. The worst part to all this ? By the end of the day, I really have no clue what I did on the net. Browsed through, listened to the radio, blogged, checked my email, commented on blogs, learnt this tiny bit about web designing... that sounds a lot, but with high-speed internet, that shouldn't take more than 2 hours max. The rest of the 6-8 hrs? No idea.. the computer's idle most of the time, while I'm doing other stuff. That sounds like a good excuse. BUT... THAT is the problem. Leaving the computer on for ..what ? Addiction. That's what it is. Even when I'm sleeping, out for a jog, at the library, it's switched on the entire time. Of course, haven't I got excuses for that too. One, it gives me this sense of 'connection' with the world (friends, fellow bloggers, etc.). Two, the radio's got the latest music on. Three.. just 'cuz. Heh. The power supply blew out quite a number of times in the last week, and really, for the first time in years, I almost felt handicapped without the internet/computer whatever. I couldn't think of anything to do - even if I did, I lost interest in it within a few minutes. It reminded me of what someone had said a long time ago to me. Something like, "We've become so dependent on technology, that we can't think of a life without it." I know I'll have this sentence haunt me at uni too, working/studying around Macs, with buildings operated by computers. And a major perfectly defining it. Maybe that sounds a bit off.. but it's true. Living all by myself, I got a look at my life from the outside. It wasn't very appealing. I still had 4-5 hours with nothing to do. Idle. That's counting the hours after 'quiet time', ' leisure time'. That makes me wonder.. what AM I doing here now? (oi, you're catching up with blogging before heading out. Yeah, right.) Okay, one last shot. Cheers. To me.

Besides all that, I must say MSN's done a helluva job with the spaces. You can add music, lists, hang-out spots, interests, pictures, etc. etc.. And lately, more and more ppl seem to have realized that :) lol and started 'utilizing' it. More bloggers, the better. I think. Blogger addicts? Uhm, maybe not so good. Welcome to the big, wide world of the blogosphere !

Another thing, I've set a record already. I've gone through 3 days of not having talked to anyone on messenger :D uh, bet it's nothing to be proud of (just indicates I'm losing my 'touch'), but hey... for me it IS. It means I can go without messaging ppl and spending time in... talks, which later prove not to be so worthwhile. Yay ! Really, that's a big step in the entire 'detatching' thingy. Okay.. with that, I'm out for today. Trying hard at that one last shot.

Lets make it clear though.. blogging doesn't count :) Wait, what am I detatching frm then ? hm.. oh yeah. Cutting down on the hours. Got it. Later, and thanks for reading 'til here (addict... kidding).

3 comments:

thePsychologist said...

I used to use MSN messenger but gave it up and replaced it entirely with email. I found instant messaging had become tiresome and the conversations often lacked substance. That is not to say that I didn't have good conversations too. But MSN additionally took up so much time and attention as well: when one conversation would end, another would start, and multiple conversations were the status quo, causing poor quality in communications. I can't really say much about how to decrease your internet usage if you want to do that. I used to use it about the same amount that you do, and that was because I was fairly bored with school and life too, but that just faded away. Maybe it will just take time, I don't know. Good luck with that.

3ngin33r said...

time. maybe lol, guess teens hardly give things time these days. you could be right, and maybe i just need to slowly detatch myself. especially frm MSN and keeping the computer on 24/7 (i blame the summer vacations - nothing to do, literally). anyway, thnks for stopping by :) happy blogging

Plasmidmap said...

I myself was addicted to an online MMOG (massively multiplayer online game) but I forced myself to quit before starting university. I realized that it was a big drain on my time when I decided not to go to the movies with my friends once so that I could play. I also knew I had to give it up so that I could focus my attention on my studies during university (whereas in high school I really didn't need to study for that science test).

I still spend exorbitant amounts of time on the computer though. Like right now, what am doing up at 01:54 posting about someone else's internet addiction?